Saturday, 28 November 2015
To be or not to be a slave part 2 - transformation of John
My slaves are often conflicted by the so common fight between what they love and desire and what the society taught you that you should be/think. We often have conversations about how they ended up being submissive or developing a certain fetish and how to keep a healthy balance between the social life/job and your fetishes.
I think the important things that the submissive must realize regarding this subject I already described in my previous post click here , so I don't want to develop every little detail, especially since this should be done by analyzing each personal context and situation to get the best answer. Instead, I want to show you a little piece of today's conversation with my owned slave John (now sissy Julia) who has come a long way these past 2 years and briefly tell you how we ended up here.
From being a dungeon slave to quitting the lifestyle and getting into a vanilla relationship - 'cause that was a normal person should do, right?- that was nice in the beginning but as years went by it turned into a not-enough-satisfying-thing which led to mild depression, then to being my owned slave, trained to discover himself and his own limits, to being a true happy slave fully under control.
He is like you : a decent man with a decent hard working job, with a decent vanilla woman next to him. Unhappy and tormented by his love of submission and the bdsm lifestyle.
At some point in our d/s after we already reached full trust, he was conflicted : he felt like slavery is the right path for him and can make him fully happy, but he didn't have the courage to let go of what he had at that point and he didn't know how to break up with his lover without hurting her, without creating a mess. They were having random fights. She already didn't respect him so much, nor did he her.
What to do ?
I told him a life-changing decision should be well calculated and taken with no regrets. Why, because when you make a step you have to make it confidently and only that will allow you to be truly happy with your change. So I advised him to take some time and try to make his vanilla relationship work. At this point you're probably surprised how come I, his Owner, could advise him something like this instead of forcing/ordering him to leave her and surrender complete control to me.
Well, because a d/s relationships doesn't actually work like in your fantasies, that I magically snap my fingers and from 1 minute to another the slave is compelled and will sell his soul to the devil for me. Yes, we all have our fantasies and they are beautiful but also utopic. So if I wanted it to be 100% real and not just a temporary roleplay, I had to do it right, to make his mind completely comfortable and not just tell him 'do this because I want it !', but actually prove him that I am right.
A decent sane person wouldn't just leave from a day to another his life and relationship. I knew that those fights he was having with his gf and his depressions and how happy he was when with Me...I knew they all meant that he was born to be a complete slave and that his vanilla relationship wasn't going to ever be satisfying enough. And more important, I knew that once the fights started in his relationship and once some heavy words were thrown...there is no real coming back from that. That relationship was doomed to end sooner or later. Would have been easier for me as a Domme to end it sooner, but not in these circumstances. For a slave to be 100% committed and happy as a slave, he has to also be 100% sure.
So I gave him time and let him try to fix his relationship, knowing that I will just prove my point. And it was like that. Even if I stepped away (not completely but gave him more space), even if they both tried to make it work...once something is broken you cannot patch it and make it like new. You can stitch the crack but the crack is still there. And the crack was there because he needed something else and that was not the right path/relationship for him.
I let him hit his own head against the wall and realize the truth with his own eyes. Next month he is going to move out of the house and all the arrangements are done. No big mess, nobody is cutting their veins. She will maybe one day find someone who will actually be good for her and love her for who she is, and he will finally feel free to do what he wants. And what he wants is to be completely under My control at My feet !
We are both looking forward to decorating his new room, putting him in permanent chastity, adding my name to all his accounts (financial or non financial) and handing over all the passwords, waxing his body, changing his wardrobe to what I want him to wear, branding his body with my mark, etc.
Now he is ready.
Learn to be patient. You, the slave, you the Domme. Nothing good happens over night, not even good hypnosis brainwashing, by the way :)))
The conclusion is :
1. If you have a fetish don;t fight to suppress it, because you can't delete a fetish from your brain, NOT doable ! You'll end up being unhappy and depressed.
2. Give time to your brain to understand some things and assimilate them in order to become the perfect slave and have the perfect d/s.
3. The true freedom of a slave is within his Master's chains.
4. After all this time he still mixes up you're with your.